Tuesday, February 24, 2015

AlderManic Panic

We don't know how many people have voted. At 5PM--only 100 people had voted at the 9th District Police Station. That's about as good and verifiable a sample size as the only poll conducted about the 11th ward race.  The BI had to drag teenagers off the street in-between their runs to Wing Stop and make them vote.

 Early results point to a possible run-off between Thompson and Kozlar. (WTF).

We'll be covering election parties tonight. Kozlar's is at Fabulous Freddie's. BI Intern Sam Stecklow should be arriving soon. Sullivan's is at her office at Morgan and 34th. PDT has announced NO party. MAYBE HE KNEW IT WOULD BE A RUNOFF.

The Bridgeport International has been alternately weeping and shaking with rage all day. We should have gotten interviews we should have gotten the scoop! We should have been FOIAing since the summer. This race feels really important and under researched. 

Questions left unanswered by candidates:

If you were throwing out the first pitch at Sox Stadium—what theme song would you have played?

What is the last move you saw in theaters?

What will you do to bring Rudy home?

If you (hypothetically) caught me writing in chalk on the outside of the aldermanic office “More Trashcans…Long Live the Bridgeport International”

Would you 

A. Call the police and send me to jail. 
B. Have me wash it off with a bucket and water hastily borrowed from Schaller’s Pump.
C. Say “You damn hipster!”

Will you get me a patronage job?

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